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This is not how I thought it would be : remodeling motherhood to get the lives we want today /

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Format: Book
Language: English
Published: Berkley Books, 2009
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An important look at motherhood and family dynamics in the 21st century'by the national spokesperson of Mothers & More.

Kristin Maschka, past president of Mothers & More, a national organization with more than 140 chapters across the country, shines a spotlight on the complex issues mothers face'at work, in their homes, their lives, and with their partners? and shows how the hidden assumptions that society, the media, public policy, and women themselves hold about motherhood can sabotage a mother's happiness.

Maschka weaves together her own story, anecdotes from mothers all over the country, and a deep knowledge of history and society to offer mothers a comforting, often funny read that helps them see themselves and the world around them in a whole new way. At the same time she provides specific actions women can take today to remodel motherhood to live the lives they always thought they would.


Introduction the day the vomit hit the fanp. xiii
1the twilight zone: or why am i the one getting up in the middle of the night?p. 1
2the mother of all to-do lists: or why didn't anyone tell me how hard this is?p. 22
3oxygen masks: or why am i at the bottom of my own list?p. 47
4identity whiplash: or who am i now?p. 69
5baby vacations: or what did i do all day?p. 92
6i'm a square peg: or why doesn't my job fit anymore?p. 121
7he's a square peg: or why doesn't his job fit anymore?p. 150
8square pegs together: or how do we make our jobs fit together?p. 165
9pits and privates: or why am i obsessed with saving time?p. 190
10that sinking feeling: or why do i feel financially vulnerable?p. 223
11the next wedding: or what happened to our marriage?p. 272
Afterword: remodeling motherhood for ourselves, our families, and our futurep. 313
Acknowledgmentsp. 324
Notesp. 329
Resourcesp. 350
Referencesp. 352
Indexp. 366

Review by Library Journal Review

Management consultant/stay-at-home mom Maschka pleads for a fairer division of labor between mothers and fathers. Showing how the bar is set unattainably high for mothers and insultingly low for fathers, she does a convincing job of exposing the expectation that "mothering is unproblematic, straightforward and instinctive." She addresses the adage "you can't have it all" by emphasizing that it is women who can't have it all. (Men can, and do, but only because women don't.) Although not as elegantly argued as competing works, Maschka's book still makes a valuable contribution to feminist literature as it relates to motherhood. Readers who devoured such titles as Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels's The Mommy MythÃ…will find an excellent offering here as well.-Julianne J. Smith, Ypsilanti Dist. Lib., MI (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Kristin Maschka is the past president and a national spokesperson for Mothers More. She has her own management consulting practice supporting public school districts and nonprofits. She lives in California with her husband and daughter.

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